"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."
-Andy Dufresne (Morgan Freeman) in Shawshank Redemption
I have been thinking about hope a lot lately. Mainly because I have been feeling pretty hopeless. Why is it that we are in this dark place that it is so hard to remember the ways to get out of this place? To remember that we have been here before and "this too shall pass"? For me, when I start entering this dark arena my tendency is to isolate. Get back in bed and pull the covers over my head. It's hard to do that with kids, but I somehow find a way. Isolation can take on many forms for me.
When I reach out, or allow someone to reach in, I am able to find the light switch. I am learning that it's my job to turn on the switch, to make the choice to stand in the light.
The past few days have been really dark. Lots of tears, lots of hiding. It's still dim, but I can feel the switch in my hand. Knowing that I have the power to turn off/on, or just dim the lights feels like a step in the right direction.
Today I woke up feeling truly grateful. Grateful for knowing where to go to seek help when I am in this sad place. Grateful to know that I am not alone.
I have a great deal of emotional work ahead of me. It feels so overwhelming, so incredibly overwhelming. There are moments when I think I can't do it, I can't go there, the pain will kill me.
I will survive. I will get through this. I am not alone.
All day today I have been thinking of, praying for those people who don't know where to go, who feel that they are the only one. I wish they could be reading this now. I send all the love I can muster to my friends in the dark. Wishing I could hold their hand and share my light long enough for them to find their own.
I know that I will come out of this. My hope today is that someone else will see that they will too.
"Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark." -George Iles
Update: Right after I finished this post I was reading a great blog Fat Mum Slim by Chantelle Ellem and saw this video in this great post called "It Get's Better" . . it was like the universe hitting me between the eyes . . .so good. Enjoy!
Jen,
Gorgeous magnolia photos!!
Such honesty and openness - both beautiful things to have as you grow!
You are never alone!!
Accept the gift of love from so many around you who love and care about you EVERY DAY!!
Shine on sweetheart!!!
xoxo. Tammy
Posted by: Tammy | 04/25/2011 at 05:54 AM
Sending you lots of hugs and support. I too isolate in a very big way. It is so hard to reach out but it sounds like you have the resources and know where to turn for that in your life.
Posted by: Celina Wyss | 04/26/2011 at 10:16 AM